Raw Emotions

I blog to get my feelings out and right now I am over everything that happened over the past few days. I can't focus on the anger of others. I can only focus on how I react to things. I am stubborn and tenacious,but I am also a person.

I wish more than anything that I owned a private plane so I could go meet so many people on a moments notice.Hearing the news that Olivia Davis is once again struggling scares me. I have never met her family but I feel like I should be there. Stanford is not a really long way from where I live. I hurt when these kids hurt. I hurt when their parents hurt.I am heartbroken when things don't go well. Maybe I am too overinvolved or maybe it's just because I view these people as part of my family.

Many of these people I have never met and will likely never meet but I have a bond with these people.I cry when a CHDer dies whether or not I knew them even a little.I am happy when a child goes home from the hospital or celebrates a birthday.What many parents would consider small milestones such as birthdays or crawling or walking,heart parents treat it differently. I treat it differently.

These kids are a part of my life. They are my heart sisters and brothers and they inspire me to keep going. They inspire me to keep living my life. When I'm down,knowing that they are out there looking up to me,reminds me to keep moving forward.They remind me not to feel so scared by changes. They remind me that I am here for a reason. I am here to fight for awareness for them. I am here to fight for accuracy.I am here to love them and love their families as deeply as their families love me.

CHD Parents and Survivors thank you so much for your constant love and support.I am truly blessed to have you all in my life.I love you all more than you'll ever know.