I've played the waiting game before.
But this time it's so different. We aren't waiting for news about my health at all and if possible playing this waiting game is even worse.
We're waiting to find out the results of a biopsy that was done on my ten week old niece.
Yes you read right...My ten week old niece has already undergone more than she should have at her young age.
Now we have to wait three to five days for the results.I know the waiting is hard on me,I cannot even imagine how hard it is on my sister.We texted for a bit last night and I could tell that she was scared.
I reminded her that it's okay to cry (as a matter of fact I'd been crying most of yesterday) and she informed me that she had been crying.My heart ached for her.I wished so much that I could be with her,holding her hand,letting her cry on my shoulder.When I told her that,I could practically hear the tears when she texted back "I wish you were here too"
Last night was unbearably hard for me.
I struggle daily with God's existence and this certainly has not changed.I would trade places with my niece in a second.I don't understand how a higher power could allow this type of thing to happen to a tiny baby. Why not the rapists & murderers out there?
Why my niece?
I have struggled with this very question, over and over and over....but I've come to realize that even if we knew, it probably wouldn't be good enough for me....I guess that is where faith and trust come in....it's so incredibly hard, but I have to believe there is a purpose for our suffering.
ReplyDeleteI've been praying and will continue! <3
Thank you Jill. You are an incredible woman and I am blessed to have you in my life.
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